Just moments after the confetti cannons coughed up their last shred of celebration, I had to do it. Like looking through my fingers at a horror movie, my laptop revealed the USA Today Facebook Super Bowl Ad Meter Top 5 (voting ends Tuesday with official results due Wednesday).
Dog, dog, baby, dog, dog.
Weego is a cute little fellow with a clever enough name, but somewhere in doggie heaven, Alex from Stroh's is showing his teeth. Never went anywhere unexpected. Classy nod to rescue dogs though. Good save.
In second and third, Doritos spots that come to us from, well, not us. Agency creatives were spared the trouble. Keep playing ping pong in your skinny jeans, kids. EveryMan is on the case. Hmmm, so if Joe the Plumber wrote these, why do they feel like slick, formulaic Super Bowl spots?
In fourth, a Skechers-wearing French bulldog makes greyhounds eat wake. But just before the finish, he pops it into reverse and moonwalks across to Tone Loc's "Wild Thing". And just when I'm thinking, "I bet Tone hates the moonwalk," Mark Cuban shows up. Of course he does.
Rounding out the Top 5 was VW's Dog Strikes Back. A fun spot within a spot that refers to one of the best spots ever. http://youtu.be/R55e-uHQna0
So there it is. My free critique of work that cost $100K per second to air. Truth is, I respect the hell out of any client and creative willing to expose their brands on advertising's biggest stage. So as a Creative Director in a flyover state who admittedly has never produced his own Super Bowl spot, the least I can do is expose my own Top 5.
In fifth, Audi's "Vampire Party". Aren't we all sick of vampires? O+ now in a pizza box. Daylight now in a headlight.
Honda's "Get Going". Life moves fast, Ferris. Make great spots.
Chevy's "Sonic Anthem" wasn't a laughfest, but for me it was a breakthrough. Not like Apple's "1984" or Monster.com's "When I Grow Up", but they took a risk and did something fresh. Seemed authentic in a time when we're craving authenticity. Loved the music. And if you haven't already, check out letsdothis.com. Wildly impressive video http://youtu.be/MejbOFk7H6c
Chrysler's "It's Halftime America". First Eminem made me want to move to Detroit, now Eastwood is giving me the pep talk of my life? "It's halftime, America. How do we come from behind? Our second half is about to begin." All squinty and inspirational. Count me in, Clint.
And on top, KIA's "Dream Car". Bless that clumsy sandman. Motley Crue, bikinis in the stands, rhino rodeo, lumberjacks sawing a school bus-sized sandwich, Chuck Liddell robot MMA…all before he crashes into his wife's dream to claim her back from some horseback-riding romance novel Romeo. Should I be ashamed? Too late. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHZbXvts0LE
Pretty incredible that 11 automakers made an appearance. Seems soda and beer wars have taken a back seat for now
Strangely brilliant and oddly mesmerizing, the Cars.com "Confidence" spot was bizarre enough to make me want more. Reminiscent of Tide's talking stain.
Coke's Polar Bears made a nice nostalgic trio. I wonder if the Packers were playing, would one be wearing a green scarf?
MetLife, good to see Charlie Brown with so many friends. Good grief, some producer certainly earned her money. I even spotted my old pal, Underdog.
Careerbuilder.com took it in-house and went back to the well. Monkeys are still funny. I'm just missing those beautiful little details like lighting cigars with hundys.
The legendary Nurburgring and Laurence Fishburne's voice, but still an emotionless spot for Cadillac. Probably should've trotted out the 556-horsepower grocery getter instead. It is the Super Bowl, after all.
Pepsi Max, you can't beat the original. http://youtu.be/TnXArm-NViI
Acura, can any of us relate to two of the richest car collectors in the world fighting over the first NSX? Not really, but I'm sure Seinfeld fans were howling.
For the record, I don't want undies with Beckham's name on them.
And finally, GoDaddy? Please go away.